I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
