I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The struggles of a small town man whore
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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