People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
