there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
