You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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