She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
