Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize