thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
