Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My vagina just clenched in fear
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
