I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
is wine microwaveable?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
