Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
