I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize