This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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