Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
