she woke up with a sticky ear
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
