Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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