whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
