Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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