ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
