My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
