I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
cat food counts as protein by the way
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
