SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
