why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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