I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
