it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
