Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize