My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
