i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
