yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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