Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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