mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize