you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
