i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
