She said her name was "party"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
