my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
