I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
