So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Please don't give away my fajitas
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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