I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
If that was your dad, he is hot
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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