im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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