Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
