You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize