he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
