Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
