do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
