plz talk dirty to me
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
