So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Two words: blizzard sex
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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