I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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