apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
