so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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