Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
