spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
