Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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