love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
