For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
