It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
