Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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