things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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