you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
