At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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