i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
