You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
