I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
