Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
