Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
