Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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