i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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